iv.

The word-muscle is double
jointed. Ties itself in hitch knots, does back
flips on balance beams,
then strays across the median
into oncoming traffic. Syllables like limbs
with compound fractures.
- Nina Corwin, "Speaking of Tongues"

You're in Ruins

Caryn Drexl

Only One

Skyscape Quilt - Kim Eichler-Messmer

You're inside arguing about whether

A cloud was once a river

.

While outside a man stutters,

Trying to talk to the cacti

.

If you could recieve only one answer

Would you choose to know

.

What he is choking on

Or what he is trying to say



- Kazim Ali

Winter

Photographer Unknown

“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”
- Carl Jung

Broken

Lost In Translation

It was always the broken hand we learned to lean on after all.

- Iron & Wine

Dead

ZACH: You're flogging a dead horse.
DA VINCI: Well it's my horse and I'm gonna flog it!
- Da Vinci's Inquest, S03E05

Too Young To Sing the Blues

Billie Holiday - Jody Hewgill

She called me wishy washy

It broke me down

I'm just a pile of quick sand

Pretending I'm solid ground

So excuse me for being so fickle

I am just some young blood

Swimming in an old soul

- Arum Rae

Neither Here Nor There

But found along the way.

Disaster

Erica Laszlo

“Our hips ground together, like the kind of teenagers I at least had never been. Scandalous people: she’d get pregnant, he’s had to work in a gas station the rest of his life. Of course they would, you couldn’t dance like this and not have a life of disaster. Dancing with him like this I was a girl with no prospects.”
- Spending, Mary Gordon

Most Dangerous Time

Juarez drug wars - Washington Post

“I’m not gonna lie to you. What I’m gonna tell you is this: You are all living in the most dangerous time of your life right now. If you make it to the age of 21, count yourself lucky. Because if drinking and driving doesn’t kill you, you’re lucky. If drugs don’t get you, you’re real lucky. If depression, over the lack of a sure future, over a broken heart, if that doesn’t get you, you’re lucky. Now, if you are unlucky, that’s when you meet me. And what I do is I have you strip naked and I lay you on a metal slab. My pathologist will cut open every organ in your body, and all you secrets are now open for the whole world to know.”
- Da Vinci’s Inquest

We Were Here,

Photographer Unknown

Now we disappear.

No Good

Brooklyn Street Art

"Milo realized, not for the first time, that he was no good at living."
- The Tourist, Olen Steinhaur

Death

Patricia Ariel

"We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."
- Bukowski

Dire

"Quentin was pretty sure that if he stood very still for a few seconds everything would snap back to normal. He wondered if he was undergoing some dire neurological event. He looked cautiously back over his shoulder."
- The Magicians, Lev Grossman

The Dark Side of Everything

Chat Noir

"Finally, there was no way of getting around it; there was a wedding to attend, after all. A wedding where Maddy would once again be the sidekick, the bad little sister who couldn't follow rules, who even as a grown woman was afraid of ridiculous things, thunderstorms and mice, traffic jams and airplanes. She would most likely be made to wear a horrible dress of some dreadful synthetic fabric while her sister glowed in white silk and satin. Second-rate, second-best, the dark side of everything. She never believed men who told her she was beautiful and shies away from friendships. She did her work and kept to herself, the sort of woman who could stand idly by while children removed a butterfly's wings or buried a toad in the mud."
- The Third Angel, Alice Hoffman

I Must Hear You

Artist Unknown

we stab ourselves
i must hear You
we stab
cutting the flaps of skin
the words twisting out, piling up onto the floor of our homes
they mix in the sounds of our blood
they drown
but it does not stop
we hear the same songs in the stomachs of others
so we grab more knives to cut them out
i must hear you
we grab more knives, but there are more and more stomachs
- Anis Mojgani

Blood, Panic, Sorrow

Caryn Drexl

"I had just wanted to get my point across. What was so wrong about that? There it was, every bit of who I was: blood, panic, sorrow. Did I have to spell it out for him?"
- The Ice Queen, Alice Hoffman

Ultrapostmodern

"So it's true," Julian said. "You really don't talk."
I nodded again.
"That is so fucking cool. Talk about meta. It's just transcendent."
- The Lock Artist, Steve Hamilton

Betrayed

Photographer Unknown

“You can be betrayed in your sleep. The whole world can tilt while you're dreaming of butterflies.”
- The Ice Queen, Alice Hoffman

The Dark

Alex Prager

Maybe when I die

I get to be a car

Driving in the night

Lighting up the dark

- Land of Talk

Johnson

MARY: Before you hear it from someone else, I smacked an Indian's johnson with a bar of soap today. Just thought you should know.
MARSHALL: Haven't we done enough to those people?
MARY: I'm not proud of myself.
- In Plain Sight, S01E01

Grief

Keiko Guest

“I feel disconnected from everything, even from myself. There’s a hollowness in my heart that must be the beginnings of grief. I’ve lost so much today.”
- Blood Memory, Greg Iles

Call It Predictable,

Ron Monsma

Yesterday my dream was of you.

Modern Sanity

Matt Logue

"But my foster mother never explained to me that there can be a deep loneliness in modern sanity too. That madness can be its own form of solace.”

- Origin, Diana Abu-jaber

Words Were Our Wings, Now Let Them Be Rifles

Photographer Unknown

You only must aim for the heart.

All Distortion All the Time

Daniel Regan

Would someone please plug my lungs back into the guitar amps

I want to live my life on all distortion all the time

- Derrick Brown

Lost Conversations

PLINEY: "... And in the process I snagged my cheese..."

I Have Already Emptied Myself

Don Bartletti

Howl open-mouthed, terror- and love-filled

- Anis Mojgani

Hand Me Down Tune

Jo Straube

I dreamt of a suit, a suit so fine I dressed my words in
Sewn and tailor made with song in mind, made of melody
Stitched by threads of notes with perfect pitch, perfectly composed
Sound in tune and key, a code of rhythm, and harmony
But when I awoke my coat was worn and my words were plain
Each song that I sang, all the notes were wrong and poorly played
Both my sleeves had holes, my knees were patched, my shoes needed soles
No clever disguise no way to hide my offensive tone
- The Avett Brothers

Exploded

“When they arrived at the palace she had a word with Grant, the young footman in charge, who said it was security and that while ma’am had been in the Lords the sniffer dogs had been round and security had confiscated the book. He thought it had probably been exploded.”
- The Uncommon Reader, Alan Bennett

Worse

“I pretended to be cheerfully busy, entering information into the computer, dusting and ordering the shelves, but in fact my new, rather prurient interest was looking up people’s reading habits. It was disgusting, really. An invasion of privacy, a petty crime of the soul. I’d begun by looking up my brother’s card; now I couldn’t seem to stop. That was my nature, take something bad and make it worse.”
- The Ice Queen, Alice Hoffman

In It

"This is for anyone ... who’s in it. The sticky tar pit of it. And might feel a little defeated, and can’t see the escape routes, sitting on the edge of their bed with the wind knocked out of their heart."

- Buddy Wakefield [2:15]

In Triplicate

Photographer unknown

“Having s license to kill as all well and good, but he had to fill in forms in triplicate whenever it was exercised.”
- Judgment of Tears, Kim Newman

Not More Upset

“After dropping Brandi off at the airport to go back to her skeevy boyfriend—with a ticket I paid for, no less, only to find her hours later with her head in Raff’s lap, no less—an idea has formed, a realization if you will. I don’t know, anyway, here it is: My family will be the death of me. And I don’t mean that in a ‘You kids will rue the day’ kind of way. No, I’m talking about knocking on heaven’s door, charge the beach at Normandy, shuffle off that mortal coil, deceased. But the real epiphany is I have absolutely no say in the matter. I wonder why I’m not more upset.”
- In Plain Sight, S01E11

Left Me

Ted Soqui

I know it left me lookin' like a knife fight, lady

I know it left me feelin' like a shotgun shell

- Buddy Wakefield

Frightened

Melanie Pullen

"Frightened of trains, too," Martin said gloomily. ... "Frightened of arriving at places I haven't been to before," Martin told his neighbor now. "Frightened of motion and movement, frightened of the going and the getting there."
- Robert Littell, Legends

Didn't Go So Good

Lou: What's your problem?
Spike: Woods. My people don't like 'em.
Lou: Your... people? From Woodbridge?
Spike: No. Romans. Three times we fought in the forest against the Huns. Didn't go so good, okay?
- Flashpoint, S01E07

Listening

Donna Dennison

“As he drove, Abe recalled that his grandfather always told him that any man who took the time to listen would be amazed at all he could discover without even trying. A truly observant individual could lie down beside the river and hear where the fish were swimming; why, the trout would practically give directions to any man who was willing to study them. And because his grandfather was the best fisherman in town, and had always given out good advice, Abe started listening then and there. He thought about the dark mark on the boy’s forehead, a bruise the color of wild iris, and he decided that for once in his life he’d pay attention. He’d take note of what this drowned boy had to say.”
- The River King

Human

Joris Bruring

There’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places
And there’s prayer and meditation,
No one will think less if your hanging with your breath
Seeking peace and salvation.
- Tanya Davis

Morning Ritual

"I'll be home at--"
"Six."
"I'll check in on you at--"
"Three."
"The gun is in the--"
"Hall closet."
"Always shoot for the--"
"Knees."
Legacy didn't like that answer, he preferred a tight center-mass cluster, six shots then reload. Chess had researched the matter and in an act that could be counted as teen rebellion had declared that a knee shot hurt most, incapicitated best, and almost never led to a mortal wound. They had reached a compromise early on in their intruder defense preperations; Chess got one shot at the knee, and if she missed she had to go for the head.
- Ransom X, I.B. Holder

Facedown

Melanie Pullen

But, you know the real reason I never wrote one of those stories? I became a cop. And I found out the images I had in my head weren’t like real life. Take the case that I got this morning: The body wasn’t found by a swimming pool high in the hills, it turned up in a parking lot by the 101. And the victim wasn’t some movie weasel or starlet, it was a poor young woman in cargo pants and sneakers, with a bullet hole in her back and facedown on the pavement.
- Raines, s01e01

Slept through Fargo

Photographer unknown

Slept through Fargo
Woke up cradling a trainwreck somewhere deep in the cascades
When she called him baby he reacted instinctively
Shifted weight in the seat so she could be more comfortable
When she hopped off the train 2 stops before his, giddy to see her boyfriend, he knew he'd never kiss her again
- Dain Michael Down

Drop the Needle

Jonathan Leder

You came out from the country

Wearing momma's clothes

You were born in the city

Daddy's dominos

You need a record you can move to

Well we got one

Drop the needle

We are playing for an audience of one

- Cold War Kids

The Last Thing I saw Was Night

Photographer unknown

Take my name from me and make it a verb. Think of me when you run out of money. Remember me when you fall in the sidewalk. Mention me when they ask you what happened. I am everywhere under your feet.

- Luc Sante

Journey

Sita Marie

A Person is only a metaphore for the place he wants to go.

- Akim Ali

Today Is the Day We Must Come Alive

Camilla Akrans

We’re gonna build big, dumb blanket forts
To keep out the cynics
And if you get hurt in the construction,
Then we have a reindeer in the lobby that will hold you
- Derrick Brown

Full and Heavy

The hospitals are full and overflowing
With people cutting God from their insides
- Anis Mojgani

Muezzin

David Bellamere

You hopped into bed,

But your hymen is on the table.

Never mind, Allah be praised.

There is more than one way to skin a cat.

Peel an orange and feed its slices to me.

I have a minaret, get hold of its charms,

Be my muezzin,

While the rainIs pouring out in the street

And folks are keeping indoors

For their prayers.
- Murat Nemet-Nejat

Black Coffee

Fringe S02E20

I'm feeling mighty lonesome

Haven't slept a wink

I walk the floor and watch the door

And in between I drink

Black coffee

Love's a hand me down brew

I'll never know a Sunday

In this weekday room

I'm talking to the shadows from 1 o'clock til 4

And lord, how slow the moments go

When all I do is pour

Black coffee

Since the blues caught my eye

I'm hanging out on Monday

My Sunday dreams to dry

Now a man is born to go a lovin'

A woman's born to weep and fret

To stay at home and tend her oven

And drown her past regrets

In coffee and cigarettes

I'm moaning all the morning and mourning all the night

And in between it's nicotine

And not much heart to fight

Black coffee

Feelin' low as the ground

It's driving me crazy just waiting for my baby

To maybe come around

I'm waiting for my baby

To maybe come around

My nerves have gone to pieces

My hair is turning gray

All I do is drink black coffee

Since my man's gone away

- Black Coffee

One Day I'll Come Home

Geoff Benzing

From town to town and state to state

There’s people everywhere that try to capture us

We stole the cash and left our names

And almost slipped in Indianapolis

The rain it fell, the story went on

The rain it fell, and we got gone

Poughkeepsie, hang up the telephone

Won’t answer your phone calls no more

New York quit callin’, New York leave me be

Changing the plans that I’ve been setting on

I’m scared by the way that my life is getting gone

Carolina one day I’ll, someday I’ll come home

- The Avett Brothers

Past the Edges

The sea’s utter lust eats at the shores of my skin.
Here at last I can be lonely.
The sky has spilled all its secrets
And the crabs have gathered them to their caves.
The horizon drags my own secrets out with the tide,
Out beyond the islands
To where the world tapers.
Here I believe the world has an end,
That if I swim out far enough
I’ll plunge with all the fish across the brink
And fall through thickets of stars.
Even the universe, they say, has walls.
Out beyond the twilight’s keeping a door lies open.
I’d like to stand there with my back to all the light,
Looking out,
Then take a step.

- The Book of Flying, Keith Miller

No One Noticed

“She dropped drinking. No one noticed. She could gut a nun with a bread knife tonight and no one would notice”
- Judgment of Tears, Kim Newman

Sanding Down the Edges

Photographer unknown

"After a while you get kind of used to living in a state of weariness. It may be physical but it starts to feel existential."
- Raines, S01E03

Mixtapes/Cellmates

And I'm servin' time 'til I've earned the right

To go back to the place that we started from

And I'm servin' time 'til I've earned the right

Baby, I swear one day we'll get the money straight

Chaos

"It made sense when he told it to me. You know, Chaos, I get excited, I fuck it up."

"That's okay," said Chaos, sympathetic for the first time. "It might've been a little fucked up to begin with."

- Amnesia Moon, Jonathan Lethem

You're My Little Scar

Photographer Unknown

I'll give you something that no one's gonna give you

My sleeping skin and my heart deep down in you

- Land of Talk

Dirty

Jill Freedman

And I hope his guardian angel puts a gun in his hand
If ever they get ambushed or pursued
I hope she sticks around when he does dirty
In this dirty, dirty duel he has brewed
And though the names will get changed to protect the innocent
He said, "I hope the names will get changed to protect me."

- M. Ward

The Unknown Soldier

last thing I saw was a crack of yellow sky between buildings, partly obscured by a line of laundry.
...
The last thing I saw was his badge, but I couldn't tell you the number. The last thing I saw was a full shot glass, slid along by somebody who clapped me on the back.
...
The last thing I saw was a boot, right foot, with nails protruding from the instep. The last thing I saw was a turd. The last thing I saw was a cobble. The last thing I saw was night.

I lost my way in snowdrifts half a block from my apartment. I drank a bottle of carbolic acid not really knowing whether I meant to or not. I got very cold and coughed and forgot things. I went out to a yard to try to give birth in secret, but something happened. I met a policeman who mistook me for somebody else.
...
I was supposed to get up early that morning, but couldn't move. I heard a sort of whistling noise above my head as I was passing by the post office, and that's all I know.
...
I felt very hot and shaky and strange, and everybody in the shop was looking at me, and I kept trying to tell them that I'd be all right in a minute, but I just couldn't get it out.
...
I stood yelling as he stabbed me again and again.
...
I was asleep in the park when these kids came by. I crawled out the window and felt sick looking down, so I just threw myself out and looked up as I fell.
...
They put me in a bag. They nailed me up in a box. They walked me down Mulberry Street followed by altar boys and four priests under a canopy and everybody in the neighborhood singing the "Libera Me Domine." They collected me in pieces all through the park. They laid me in state under the rotunda for three days. They engraved my name on the pediment. They drew my collar up to my chin to hide the hole in my neck.

- Luc Sante

[Full story here]
[Listen to this story read aloud on This American Life]

The Magic of Everyday Things

Banal

Arthur "Weegee" Felling

An Italian man Milo once knew liked to say, “There’s something banal about grief. All that kitsch just turns my stomach.”
- The Tourist, Olen Steinhauer

Don't Ask.

Jonathan Leder

Don't ever ask me where I'm from
In six states that's considered dumb
- Aqueduct

Ask Her For Adderall

Jonathan Leder

If she happens to suggest a love based on trust and respect

Tell her I've been wasted since last week

If she wants to stop on by, tell her that I almost died

Tell her I ain't seeing people yet

But see if she'll send cigarettes

- The Hold Steady

Ordinary

“I didn’t feel connected to the ground I walked on. I didn’t feel like I was sitting on the chair I was sitting on. When I was eating, I felt that I wasn’t eating food.”

- This American Life, "Welcome to America"